What is Washboard Express?

Washboard Express is a way for me to express my own opinions, to be a provocative gadfly, by writing a "letter a day" to the President. I may miss a day here and there, because sometimes my family with be my first priority, but my goal is to write a total of 365 letters, representing one full year. To say I have opinions about most things would be to understate the obvious. Those of you that know me, know this is true, those who don't know me, will learn that it's true. The Washboard is a reference to going back to basics and "keeping it clean," so if you would like me to post your comments or opinions on this blog, I only ask that you be respectful. So go ahead, express yourself, and I look forward to an exchange of ideas and opinions.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Letter #160... Dear Mr. President... Romnesia & Bain Capital Voting Machines

Dear Mr. President,

I knew you could do it, and I knew you would do it… the second debate was outstanding, and I’m quite sure that Gov. Romney is still reeling from the smack-down. The one-two punch at the end, about the 47%, was perfect, and perfectly timed, not allowing Romney a chance to defend his indefensible remarks.

Since that second debate you seem to have energized and rejuvenated yourself just as much as you’ve energized and rejuvenated millions of your supporters. In many ways we’re a lot like dogs… a simple pat on the head, a smile, or a good debate performance, will get our tails and our tongues wagging.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better… you did it again! Romnesia! The blogosphere, Twitter, Facebook, and its many threads all across the country, are lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree, spreading happiness throughout the land.

Romnesia is simply brilliant, and perfect for the crowd at GMU, especially the women. I fully expect your new word to be added to the dictionary by next year, with the definition being… Romnesia, [Rom-nee-zhuh] Noun - a condition when a person shifts from one position to another, over and over again.

The cure for Diarrhea of the Mouth
And now Vice President Biden is telling a crowd in Florida that Romnesia is contagious, and Congressman Ryan has caught it as well, citing the fact that Ryan is now giving a new explanation for cuts in the budget he oversaw and passed in the house. Both Romney and Ryan suffer from a ‘constipation’ of ideas, and ‘diarrhea’ of the mouth… but there is a remedy for them and it’s called “Milk of Romnesia”… when taken orally, guaranteed to work once both orifices have been sufficiently clogged, rendering them inoperable.

Romnesia couldn’t have come at a better time, with enough material to carry us through the election, and carrying you and Vice President Biden, to a decisive victory. You have redeemed yourself with Chris Matthews, and I’m quite sure that David Axelrod is giddy with all the attention this is getting, both for the energy it brings, and the comedic value, changing a very ugly and divisive campaign into something that is making most of us smile broadly and laugh out loud.

But, there is one more CRITICALLY IMPORTANT thing you need to do before the election… Make sure that there are boots on the ground in every state, every precinct, and every polling place, ensuring that there is no voter suppression. Nor, any corruption/manipulation of votes with the machines from Hart Intercivic, controlled by Bain Capital Investment. I don’t care if you have to call the National Guard to protect these machines, because the connection between the Romney family, Bain Capital, and ownership of these machines is anything but coincidental.

Most Respectfully,

Marcia Reimers
Your Gadfly Granny

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Letter #159... Dear Mr. President... Next hand is "All in"...

Dear Mr. President,

Kudos to you Mr. President, the debate last night was one of the best-played bluffs in the history of debates. You sucked Gov. Romney into your web like dirt up a vacuum, allowing him to repeat his lies over and over again. Watching you was like watching the final table at a championship poker tournament, with the chip leader giving up just enough to suck his opponent into going all in.

Your poker face was extraordinary.
I could see it was nearly killing you to keep your cool… the ‘tells’ were easy to spot, like a poker player pulling his hood up when he has a really good hand, in hopes that the others won’t see his excitement. Your ‘tells’ were nodding in the affirmative like you were agreeing with him, encouraging him to continue, pursing your lips at obvious lies, and appearing to take notes that you didn’t actually use to refute his continuous lies and misrepresentations.

Of course all of my left leaning, dyed in the wool, Democratic friends were imploding all over Facebook. No one could believe how poorly you were doing, no pushback, no hitting him with your record, no reference to the 47% video… you just let him run off at the mouth, like he usually does. Even at the conclusion when Romney’s family all came up on stage, you and the First Lady walked quietly offstage leaving the crowd to cheer for Romney.

I think I know why you played your hand this way… 1. Get Romney to reveal all of his talking points in the first debate. 2. Gather as many lies and inconsistencies to use in new ads. 3. Give Romney the illusion that he’s got you on a bad hand, so he goes all in, while you’re already holding the straight flush. 4. Send the Vice President into his debate with Ryan, with all the ammunition he’ll need to mop the floor with him, and 5. Get all of Romney’s million dollar donors back in his game, committing their dollars back to him and not the down ticket candidates.

A very dangerous strategy for anyone in politics, except you Mr. President, because you have the brains, the facts, and the confidence to pull it all back together in the next debate. However, the next debate has to be ‘ALL IN’ for you, you’ve held your cards close, you’ve bluffed long enough to give your opponent a sense of false security and confidence, now it’s time to put him away… game over.

When the pundits come to their senses, they’ll realize you threw the first hand, and very nearly overplayed it with your terrible performance, but those of us who know just how smart you are, and what a great chess player you are, weren’t fooled.

Now it’s time to ante up and bring it home to the American people, we deserve the gold bracelet just as much as you do.

Most Respectfully,

Marcia Reimers
The Gadfly Granny